|
 |
|
Long Christian Jokes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
A small country church was searching for a new pastor to carry on for their pastor who was retiring.
After reviewing several resumes they had narrowed down their choice to a pastor who seemed to be perfect for their tiny congregation. so they visited the prospective pastor at his current church.
That morning he delivered his sermon in just five minutes! The deacons were impressed that he was able to be so quick and precise with the message. Pleased with this they invited the prospective pastor to preach at their church so the entire congregation could meet him. He preached his "evaluation" sermon in just under twelve minutes! The deacons decided that very day that this was indeed the man that God had chosen for them. Quick, precise, right to the point and right to lunch. The new pastor received a unanimous call.
On his first Sunday at his new church the pastor arrived a little late. He took his place in the pulpit and apologized for his tardiness. At once he commenced his sermon. TWO HOURS later he concluded his sermon. This concerned the deacons and they called the pastor in to a closed meeting that evening.
"When we visited you at your previous church you preached for 5 minutes. When you preached for us here as a visiting pastor you preached for 12 minutes. Now that you are our new pastor you preached for TWO HOURS. Why? What is different?"
The pastor considered their question and responded. "When you visited me at my old church I had just had several teeth pulled in preparation to get dentures. My mouth was very sore and 5 minutes was all I could do. When I visited here and preached I had just gotten my new dentures and was trying to adjust to them. 12 minutes was all I could stand. This morning I awoke late. In my rush to get to church I accidentally put in my wifes' dentures instead of my own."
long-jokes[269] |
|
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.
After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied.
The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.
long-jokes[267] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
